Here it comes again. the annual invasion of turkeys, cranberry sauce and gastrointestinal excess. For many Americans scattered across the globe, this Thanksgiving season is delivering a basket filled with IEDs, blood and horror; a horn of plenty of grief and misery from a war-torn planet seemingly intent upon its own destruction.

War, strife and civil unrest have been with us since the birth of the dream that gradually sprouted and bloomed into the reality we now call America the beautiful. There are those who would point out that destruction is necessary for change. That misery and suffering is the price of being alive, as well as the price of freedom. which, as we all have come to recognize. is not now and never was. "Free".

And, as if current events are not depressing enough, Hollywood is releasing another movie chronicling the life and death of Bobby Kennedy. Those of us old enough to remember the period of history that handed us his assassination along with that of his brother, John and Martin Luther King may be still reeling from the emotional impact that stunned our national consciousness, leaving us feeling empty and hopeless inside just as the terror attacks of September 11, 2001 did.

So then, in the face of all this chaos, misery, pain and suffering. what, precisely do we have to be thankful for?

It has been said that our perspective determines our reality. For sure, perspective determines our sense of right and wrong and generates goals and morality. Perspective, therefore, is a powerful tool. When things are going well, we may feel we can dispense with perspective and enjoy the moments. But when times are rough, we may need to dig into our tool box of life to find the perspective that will give us the strength to move forward in the face of great adversity. Those who have lost sons, daughters, mothers and fathers to war or other tragedy this year may have to dig deeper than the rest of us, but it is there, waiting to be pulled out and put to use.

So what am I thankful for this year? Perhaps I am a bit of an optimist, but as I tug my perspective from my own tool box, I find I am capable of giving thanks for a number of things.

Perhaps first and foremost, I am thankful for the spiritual resolve of those 120 rugged individualists who climbed into that ninety-foot, wooden boat called The Mayflower and set sail for The New World from Plymouth, England on September 06, 1620. I am thankful they succeeded in the face of fierce hurricanes and seriously deficient living conditions during their sixty-five day journey.

I am grateful and thankful beyond words for all those who fought and offered up their lives for the creation of our country in the American Revolution, including my own great-great grandfather, John Jaquish (1755-1845) of Woodbridge, New Jersey.

I am grateful for and to, the succeeding generations of American men who contributed their lives in later conflicts to preserve the nation that we all now call home and to those who continue that tradition to this day.

I am grateful for the marvelous and beautiful diversity of the culture of America that exists today and I thank both the Native Americans and the immigrants who have come to our shores in the past and continue to come, bringing energy and creativity that invigorates our great country and makes our society unique and special above all others.

I am thankful for the challenges we all face today, for they allow us to escape from the pit of complacency by forcing us to re-identify our fundamental core values and regain our focus on what it means to be an American.

I am thankful for the constant stream of analysis, dialogue and self-criticism that takes place all over America all the time via the media and internet blogs such as this. For without dialog, there is no growth and without growth, there is only death.

I am thankful to live in a country that recognizes how important it is NOT to cram religion down our throats while at the same time, recognizing that that this is a country that was founded by those who believed in freedom of, as well as freedom from religion.

I am thankful for all this, and more. For despite the darkness and horror, the world and our nation is indeed a wondrous, marvelous miracle and every hour of every day is an opportunity to begin all over again with new choices and new possibilities. For in the end, "Life," is really only what we do every day.


Happy Thanksgiving!

Why does it seem lately, that politics and politeness are incompatible?

The other day I heard on the news about a single-mother school bus driver in the Seattle area who gave President Bush's motorcade the finger. The bus was full of school children at the time and most saw the gesture delivered to a smiling president who was waving at them, but this did not disturb the driver in the slightest. It apparently disturbed someone though. The driver was fired the following day.

People in America somehow seem to have received the impression that the US Constitution guarantees them the right to act like total fools and offend the sensibilities of anyone they choose with unrestrained, provocative acts. Does it? The text of the first amendment reads as follows:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

The first ten amendments of the Bill of Rights, inspired by Thomas Jefferson and drafted by James Madison, became the law of the land in 1791. From all historical accounts, our founding fathers were vocal intellectuals who respected the rights of individuals and most probably, expressed this respect by treating one another with customary courtesy. This amendment focuses on the right of "peaceable assembly", which one would assume is not the same as offensive, provocative actions likely to inflame and insult. It is hard to imagine Thomas Jefferson giving James Madison the finger, regardless of how severely they may have disagreed over anything. It is also hard to imagine Thomas Jefferson allowing his administrative assistants to sabotage White House computers as they left their offices for the last time to make room for the next president (as happened when Bill Clinton left office). Such acts pass beyond the boundaries of common respect and dignity and serve only to provoke and anger those around us.

What goes around comes around. Whether you call it Karma or reaping what you sow, or simply the law of choice and consequence, things generally have a way of balancing themselves out eventually. In the case of the school bus driver, the consequence of her choice of expression was the loss of her job. The school children who witnessed her infantile act are now learning about boundaries and the difference between proper and improper behavior. So in terms of every disaster containing an opportunity, this incident could turn out to be a valuable learning experience for them.

Unless of course, the school bus driver is successful in regaining her job. She has the union on her side and is fighting to go back to work. If this happens it will send the exact opposite message to those children on the bus.

US Senator John Kerry's recent statement that you will, "end up in Iraq if you are not smart and educated " is another example of inappropriate, offensive behavior. Such statements stun the consciousness of the average person to the point of disbelief. One can only speculate about the inner workings of a mind that would fail to recognize how such words would offend others prior to uttering them. The sad fact is that the news is overflowing with almost daily examples of similar behavior.

As a nation, we really do need to decide what kind of society we want to live in. We will of course, never eliminate corruption and dishonesty. There will always be those among us who will attempt to bend and break the rules for their own advantage. But we can at least move towards developing a set of basic standards for acceptable polite behavior in terms of individual interactions. If we want a society of rude anarchists who believe it is acceptable to offend everyone around us without restraint any time we experience frustration in life, we are headed in the right direction. If, on the other hand, we decide it is important to demonstrate compassion for others by respecting opinions and communicating effectively in a positive fashion, then we have some work to do. Decades of inappropriate behavior from the highest offices in the land have constructed a sturdy foundation for those who believe they have a right (some would even say an obligation) to offend others at will. The first step for change is recognition of inappropriate behavior. The second step is instruction of our children and one another. We need to communicate and establish clear boundaries and expectations for appropriate and inappropriate behavior. And while we are at it, we may as well toss in a little information about anger management as well.

Those are my opinions. Do you agree or disagree?


READER COMMENTS:

Mike,

This is why YOU write books and I don't! I absolutely agree with your point of view.

-tomgom


Mike,

Politics Vs Politeness is your best blog yet. It goes to the heart of the loss of civility in public discourse. It's become customary to demonize, slander and otherwise attack those with whom one disagrees. Honest, respectful and courteous debate or discussions are virtually unknown at the national level. The examples you gave were good and illustrative, and I won't fault you for taking them from just one side of the political spectrum. It is possible to communicate with those whom one has serious disagreements.

I would add for your consideration on the subject of Politics Vs Politeness the notion that it has already gone way beyond impoliteness and crudeness. There have been studies of the various genocides of the 20th century that have determined there are identifiable precursors to genocide. At least three of the precursors are present in the US today. I am NOT about to say that genocide can happen in our country. However, the presence of ANY precursors should alarm Americans who wish for a more civil society. One is the idea that one's group is being persecuted; for instance American values are being undermined by Secular Humanists. Another is the introduction of death into the public discourse; Pat Robertson saying that a nuke needs to detonated at Foggy Bottom, Ann Coulter advocating the killing of thousands of non-radicals around the world and Sean Hannity's book Treason (with the punishment of execution) to give three examples. The third precursor is naming the guilty group; LIBERALS.

My own speculation is that as America continues its decline due to military overreach, oil depletion and debt, more precursors will appear in an effort to divert blame from ineptness. My hope is that the pendulum will continue its eternal swing and restore equilibrium. Unfortunately, I have no faith in the current crop of Democrats. Which leaves people like you, Mike. You've identified the most serious problem in our country. If we can't talk among ourselves we can't solve our problems.

What do you propose?

-TN


MIKE'S REPLY:

When I was writing this commentary I actually did try to come up with at least one example of inappropriate behavior (of the nature I was discussing) on the side of the Republicans because I wanted to point out that no party is perfect. There must be some, but I simply could not come up with any. (Perhaps you can.) As you seem to acknowledge though, my intention was not to pick on one side over the other. My intention was to point out a serious problem that I believe lies at the root of our current downward cycle of self-destruction.

I agree with you that there are other serious precursors (or trip wires as we call them in the industry) to the degeneration of a society and that the specific examples you note are worthy of inclusion as dangerous indicators of how far our society is slipping. "What can we do about it?" As you (TN) points out, communication is the best route to take.

Do you remember those "Town Hall Meetings" that CNN used to sponsor to provoke national awareness of the problems and stimulate conversation and (hopefully) alter attitudes. We could start by conducting a series of these television meetings showcasing specific incidents and inviting those involved in these incidents to participate in the meetings. Follow-up could start in our elementary schools by introducing a similar mandatory program of instruction to elementary, secondary and high school students and by conducting evening public awareness programs for parents and all adult members of the community. If the program were launched immediately and continued aggressively for say, five or six years, I believe the message would begin to saturate the consciousness of our society to the point where we could shift to a more moderate program that would eventually become be a fundamental part of the required curriculum in schools from that point on.

The point here I believe, is that we really need to recognize and accept our human tendency to sink into these self-destructive cycles as a society and commit ourselves to working pro-actively all the time to address these issues in positive ways that will reduce the likelihood that they will surface.

How do we go about getting the ball rolling?
Do any of you you have any contacts at CNN or Fox News?
Perhaps encouraging all our friends to email the right people there with this idea (and to tell their friends to do the same) is the way to start.

I will work on this.

-Mike